Having a successful conversation depends on sharing and understanding information on a subject.  One of the first rules of a successful conversation should focus on the understanding each has of the information being discussed.  To get that understanding, each participant should consider the following example of a good rule.

You bring three critical tools to every conversation: Ears, Mouth, and Brain.  The Rule pertains to how we use these three tools in a conversation.

The Rule: For a conversation to succeed, each participant can only engage two of these three tools at any one

                  time.

Each participant fills one of two roles: Listener or Speaker. 

      Listener:    When listening, the Ears and Brain should be engaged while the mouth rests.

      Speaker:    When speaking, the Mouth and Brain are engaged while the ears relax.

Every conversation is a form of communication.  The goal, or point, of a conversation, is to share information about a subject so that, afterward, the participants leave with a better understanding of the subject discussed.  When participants start to break the rule, the actual communication part of the conversation falls apart.  For example, one participant may be defending their position on a subject too aggressively.  They ‘over-talk’ others and have some immediate comeback for everything others say.  That individual is then engaging their Ears and their Mouths, but they’re not doing too much thinking.  And so, the communication process breaks down and the goal isn’t met, but worse, the time spent by the participants is now considered wasted.

The Rule is simple enough to remember during conversations.  If you remain aware of it, you can control your participation and positively guide others if you find them breaking the rule and threatening the free flow of information necessary for the conversation to succeed.

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